Love

A few weeks ago, I pulled Victor Hugo's epic novel, Les Miserables, off the shelf at the library, and, on a whim, decided to check it out. I must admit that I have thought about tackling this in the past, but was always a little intimidated by the 1222 pages of tiny print. I have seen the musical twice, and LOVE it! The music is amazing - the story inspiring - the message timely, even today. I dove into the novel with a little trepidation - not knowing if I would love the book as much as I did the musical. The first 100 pages or so were rough - describing in intense detail the Bishop - a minor character in the musical, but whose character development in the novel is vital to the rest of the story. But, once I got through that, I was hooked. Granted, I am only on page 200 at present, but it is AMAZING!! You cannot read it without thinking about life and circumstance - poverty and suffering - justice and mercy - themes that are just as applicable today as they were when it was published back in 1862. I think it is one of those books that you have to read once in your life. I'm looking forward to finishing it.

But, along the way, I have come across a couple of particularly thought provoking quotes within its pages, including this one:

"The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves - say rather, loved in spite of ourselves."

That is beautifully said, if you ask me. I think everybody longs for love and acceptance in some form. It is easy to look around and see misery where love, or the knowledge of it, it missing. There is always a loving Heavenly Father, along with his son, Jesus Christ, whose love for each one of us is perfect and everlasting. It is comforting to know and truly understand that concept. But, I do not believe that it would be in their plan for any of us to go through life without other people to love us as they do. We are all imperfect beings, each with our own strengths and weaknesses. But, we need people to accept us and love us in spite of those weaknesses.

I loved President Monson's talk at the General Relief Society meeting on Saturday. He spoke of reserving judgement of people and simply loving them. This was a very good reminder to me, as I do struggle with this sometimes. It is easy to judge based on what you see or observe, but there is often so much more than what meets the eye. I can think of times in my life when I have been wrongfully judged, and I do not want to do the same to somebody else. So, I will continue to work on that. I believe that the Lord needs all of us. There is so much need around us all the time - so many opportunities to lift and strengthen. How many of those have been lost to me because of my judgement - or misjudgement - of people? Too many, I'm afraid.

Prophets through the ages have preached many different things. Each one has had a couple of major themes that have been repeated throughout their ministry. In the short time that President Monson has been the prophet, he seems to be telling us over and over again that we need to love and serve others. His own life has been one of constant service. I do not think it is a coincidence that he, who is a living example of love and service in action, is our prophet now - encouraging us to do the same. Perhaps that is what the Lord needs us to be doing now - to reach out, to love, to serve - to live lives of charity and goodness, reserving judgement for God alone. This can be difficult at times.

I think I have my work cut out for me. Time to get busy!

Has it Come to This?

Sometimes I worry about raising kids in this crazy world. It often seems as if there is an abundance of evil and not enough good to go around. It is a different world than it was during my childhood - way too many years ago. Granted, I did live a somewhat sheltered life, growing up in a town where most of my friend shared my religious beliefs. There was definitely trouble to be found, but it was relatively easy to avoid if you were paying attention. But, that concept seems to have died along with poufy bangs, slap bracelets, and Saved by the Bell. Trouble is elusive no more. It often comes knocking, even when you have no intention of seeking it out.

A few weeks ago, my ten year old son was doing a search on the Internet for "football pictures." He had a school assignment to decorate his notebook with things that described him and his interests, and football is at the top of that list. His innocent search brought up a pornographic image that our Internet filter had failed to catch. His unsuspecting eyes got quite a show, and he was deeply affected. We have had frank discussions about pornography with him in the past, knowing that this day was inevitable. I had no idea that it would come so soon. He is, after all, only ten years old! No child of that age (or any age, really) should have to deal with something so filthy. The scary thing is - ten is not too young for curiosity to start, and one image may be all that it takes to start a young boy down a path that has the potential to enslave him.

Luckily, my son had the presence of mind to immediately shut down the window containing the image. He didn't come tell me right away, like he probably should have. But, he couldn't go to sleep that night without relating the experience to me. He was so disturbed that he waited up for his dad, who was at a late meeting, to get home. He desperately wanted a Priesthood blessing, hoping for some relief from the filth that was plaguing his mind.

It has been a few weeks since this incident, and he still occasionally mentions that the effects have not completely subsided. Unfortunately, that image may continue to pop into his head throughout his life. For good or bad, the mind has a way of retaining information, even if we wish it would be permanently deleted. He is fighting it, and I am confidant that it will not always stay at the forefront of his mind. But, I am absolutely certain that something similar will happen again at some point in the future, perhaps multiple times. Satan's influence over this plague is everywhere, finding it's way to the most unsuspecting victims. I know that it will not go away - only worsen as time passes - presenting a challenge to us as parents, as well as to the youth that it will attempt to entice and ultimately enslave.

These youth are strong and equal to the fight ahead of them. I have no doubt that they will be victorious in the end. But, that will not happen without a few casualties. I am so glad that I listened to the spirit and had a candid discussion about the evils of pornography with my two young boys. I didn't know if they would even really understand what I was saying. Now I sit, wondering what would have happened if I had not. Would this ten year old boy have known to RUN from such things, or would he have clicked on the image out of innocent curiosity to explore it further?

Frightening thought, indeed.

A Typical Monday

Does anybody else out there hate Mondays? I look forward to the relaxing nature of Sundays - the day that I feel justified taking some time to kick back. So, when the alarm clock starts screaming at me at 5:40 Monday morning, I want nothing more than to turn it off and go back to sleep - indefinitely. But, alas, there is piano to be practiced and kids to get ready for school - none of which would really materialize if I decided to take the morning off.

Today was no exception. I did, in fact, turn the alarm off and get back into bed for a few minutes, foregoing my time in the shower before the kids woke up. (I worry about showering with a two year old running around unsupervised.) As soon as I dragged myself out of bed, the drama began. Child #1 was upset because she wanted to shower first, but it wasn't her turn. She weaseled her way into the shower anyway, and was not in a better mood when she emerged. In fact, she proceeded to yell and scream because her sister took the last pizza lunchable. This was, in her mind, all my fault because I should have known to buy more. There was NOTHING else in the house to take for lunch (she must have overlooked the full fridge and pantry), so what did I expect her to do? She figured that kicking the pantry door would be a good option. At least it was not a child, and it did escape undamaged. This was, however, not helping my Monday morning morale!!

Meanwhile, child #2 was now throwing a fit because she wanted to take a shower and they were all full. She usually takes one at night, but could not possibly wait that long! I think we need another shower. Would a hose work?

Child #3, who was up at the crack of dawn studying, was now near hysteria because he could not find his notebook in which his homework was housed. This was, of course, due today, and his world was coming to an end in a hurry. After several minutes of frantic searching, coupled with his brother's help, he finally found the homework. Phew!! That was a close one. I was really starting to enjoy the chorus of screaming. Some people think our family is musical. If they only knew what kind of music can be heard most of the time. . .

Luckily, children #'s four and five were in relative good spirits this morning and did not add to the drama. We are all thankful for that! They all finally got out the door to school, and we will hope for the angelic return of four smiling faces, complete with each of them saying "I love you" and "How can I help you?" Then, reality will hit, and I will be happy if they can simply leave the drama at the door. Is that possible?

Lest you think I am complaining, let me just say that my life would surely be boring without a little dose of drama. It keeps me on my toes, and gives me all sorts of opportunities for creative problem solving. And, even with the drama, child #1 cannot leave the house without kissing me three or four times and making sure that I understand that she loves me. So, maybe she really does love me, somewhere deep down inside, even if I fail to buy enough pizza lunchables! I'll take it. I know better than to believe her "I hate you's." She is, after all, a drama queen.

It is all a bit comical when you think about it. I love Mondays! (Maybe if I say it a bunch of times, I will start to believe it.)

I love Monday. . . I love Mondays. . . I love Mondays. . . I love Mondays

Maybe next Monday it will sink in.

My Solace

I was introduced to the world of blogging two years ago, and have been hooked ever since. For my peace of mind, I keep my family blog private. But, I have learned a few things about myself since I have jumped into the blogging scene. First, I have learned that I am a thinker. Perhaps I knew that before, but it has become even more clear to me. I tend to think things through, sometimes to a fault. I rehearse, in my mind, every possible scenario that I can imagine before making a decision. That often causes me headaches and makes decision making difficult. Maybe that is why I am so indecisive much of the time. After all, there are way too many avenues to consider - all with their own possibilities. Sometimes I wish that I could make snap decisions and be a little more impulsive. However, through my blogging experience, I have discovered that writing is an outlet for me. It helps me to think things through, organize ideas, make sense of the world around me, discover joy that was not always obvious, and find peace in my often chaotic life. Simply said, writing has become my solace. I have found that my family blog has been playing a dual role - giving me a place to record the events in my family, as well as providing a place for me to "think out loud" - about whatever has been on my mind. I have, therefore, decided to separate the two avenues. I will continue to record the details of my family life on my family blog, while using this blog as a place to write about whatever else is on my mind. I know that I am not the most talented writer in the world. But, bear with me as I do my best. I hope that my thoughts or opinions on different issues will not cause offense to anybody. That is never my intention. You can disagree without bothering me. Like I said, this is just my way of thinking things through and discovering the wonder in my own life. So, I begin this journey hoping for a few "ah-hah" moments in which life seems to make a little more sense, leaving me with a new excitement for the world and my place within it.